The Good: The writing is quite solid, I only found a few minor typos, none of which kicked me out of the story. Brynn and Cenric are both likable yet flawed characters who fun to follow. The character's motivations are clear and consistent, and they make sense in the context of the story(with one exception, I think). The side characters are distinct and interesting if a little 2D. The progress of the action makes sense, and chemistry between our two love interests is believable and their romantic climax (make all your jokes now) is satisfying and rings true. The world building overall is just right. Not too much detail for the depth of the story, not too little for us to picture. The interactions between Brynn and Cenric's neighbors in particular was excellent and set up the climax for the plot very well.
Needs work for next time: Brynn's mothers actions/motivations are two dimensional and don't make sense. If, in fact, a group of life force witches had been planning to put a woman on the throne for generations, it would never come down to the progeny of one person. They would have other lineages that would act as failsafes/back ups. In the case of both tragedy and simple unsuitability in Paega, there would be alternatives. So the whole, Brynn is the only one who can carry the bloodline feels to simplistic and contrived for the sake of the story. While I'm not sure how you would get Brynn into the position she is in for plot arc to happen, I just didn't see mom's motivations as believable. Why was she not with her daughter the minute she heard that the raid she planned went sideways? She sets up the raid saying that the husband would be unprotected, but that only makes sense if his thanes went hunting without him. No reason to think that would be true. Also, no reason to hire a chaos making agent for a precision attack. Also, no reason not include Brynn in the plotting from the beginning. If she had a sense of her part in the lineage and sorceress' plans to rule, either through regency or outright, she'd be more likely to comply, to uphold her part in the plan. Again, supposedly long game playing witches leaving things to chance. I just don't buy it.
I wish Cenric and Brynn's relationship developed a little more over time. More tenderness and connection in small ways rather than him showing her the cairns and then either running off to stop a pillage or going on the same walk every day for the rest of the story until the spicy scene. I need more of a build of the relationship over time. Does he ever praise her work? Does he touch her casually more often? How is she indicating she wants more to him? There just doesn't feel like enough of it.
We go straight from Brynn being triggered by the Valdari, to Cenric leaving, to her mother arriving. We see one interaction with Vana the same day they arrive and then nothing. Is Brynn forced to interact with them at all? What are they doing while the men are gone? I wish there had been at least two more scenes of Brynn dealing with her Valdari visitors and trying not to lose it while Cenric's gone. I also don't feel like their timelines quite match up. He's gone at least five days, we only experience two of hers, I think. How does her relationship with the other maids/townsfolk develop? Total lost opportunity to spend more time with the side characters.
There is also no resolution, no falling action, no denouement. I want to see if Rowan gets married. I want to see them back home together, properly safe after all the carnage. I want to see Brynn coping with the fact that she just killed her mother. How is the homestead? Do they figure things out with the cows? How they are going to get through the winter? There's only one passionate scene before Brynn's kidnapped, so there's no resolution to what their relationship is like now. How does Olfirth react to what went down on his land? Does he apologize? Compensate them? Make a new agreement about Cenric being able to cross his lands whenever? What are death rites for the men who were killed by the sorceresses like? Yes, we know she's safe. Yes, we know they love each other and they know it too. Great. And a happy telepathic doggy woof is lovely ending, it's just way too abrupt. I'm not saying all of these questions need to be answered, I'm saying there's enough of them left over to make a perfectly lovely falling action. This book could have been one font size smaller (that's what reading glasses are for), and ten to fifteen pages longer to give us the development these characters deserved.
I do look forward to the next one, but I hope the author will take the time and word count needed to make it top tier quality.
